Tai's dad forwarded me this email entitled "Pet Diaries"...I laughed pretty hard. Of course, I could just be REALLY tired so everything is funny...but all you pet lovers out there might appreciate it.
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary:
6:00 am - At last! I go pee! My favorite thing!
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
6:00 pm - They're home! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary: Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
You Still Watching This Mess?
7 years ago
5 comments:
I didn't know that you were such an animal lover, or is this a new thing. I never knew Maria was a dog lover until she got dogs three years ago. This is pretty funny!
Miranda cats are useless!
Love the story, I share it with everyone I know. Thanks for the laugh.
oh my gosh!!! That is hilarious! I wish I was that funny to think of such things on my own!
Yeah, you have a blog!! I am much better at the blogspot than I am the myspace. And I have been sent this email before and laughed my fanny off! So true. I'd love to invite you to my blog. Which email do I send your invite to? email me: ucso.marian@state.ut.us
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